Your words matter. Your words are manifestations of your thoughts. They are important. They way you talk about yourself and to yourself has a direct effect on your weight loss.
I was listening to a coaching call with my teacher the other day and she was coaching someone who was saying that she was stupid. The client kept repeating that when she sat down to work, she would think “I’m a dunce. I’m stupid. No one wants to work with me.”
The coach reminded her she would never speak to a friend that way, and she shouldn’t speak to herself that way. She said “That’s it. Listen: That. Is. It. You are not gonna talk about yourself like that ever again. Period. That is the new rule.”
Do you say this about yourself? Things like: “I hate my body. I’m stupid for overeating again. I’m so dumb I’ll never figure out this weight loss thing. My body is never going to respond.”
Listen to me. That’s it. You are not gonna talk about your body like that ever again. Period. That is the new rule.
Decide today that you will never talk to yourself that way again.
Consider that if someone was talking about your friend or your daughter like that in your presence you would totally come to her defense! Hey don’t talk to her like that! Come to your own defense. When those thoughts creep in, respond with “Hey don’t talk to her that way!” And then “What’s the matter, love? What’s up with you that you are thinking that?” Respond to yourself with defense and then kindness.
Have you ever had the experience where someone behaves really badly and you feel a lot of compassion towards them and you think “wow they must be having a really difficult day.”
Respond to yourself with that kind of compassion. When your brain offers you these kinds of critical thoughts, respond with compassion–“what’s the matter sweetheart?”
It’s ok if these thoughts continue to come up over and over, (because it takes practice before they stop coming altogether) but it’s not ok to allow yourself to continue believing them. It’s not ok for you to allow yourself to continue talking to yourself that way without a loving response.
This is a boundary you need to put in place for yourself–no more talking to yourself that way. The insults and the mean things you throw at yourself and your body–say that’s a no for me.
You can continue feeling all the negative feelings. You can be afraid, worried, doubtful–feel all that. But you do not need to insult you ever again.
You would never talk to anyone else this way. Don’t talk to yourself this way.
I have zero doubt that you can lose your weight. I also know that there is no way for you to get there by beating yourself up.
Decide today that you will never talk to yourself that way again.
Hate is not an effective fat loss strategy.
