Have you seen Finding Nemo? Of course you have–obviously because it’s the best Pixar movie made. Please don’t argue!
Marlin : I can’t afford any more delays and you’re one of those fish that causes delays. Sometimes it’s a good thing. There’s a whole group of fish . They’re delay fish.
Dory : You mean…[whimpers] You mean you don’t like me?
Marlin : No, of course I like you. It’s because I like you I don’t want to be with you. It’s a complicated emotion.
Delay doesn’t sound like a super great word. After all, Marlin tries to ditch Dory over her being a delay fish.
But our ability to delay as humans, is actually a function of our prefrontal cortex. It’s actually one of the privileges of being human–being able to think about what we think about, and then to be able to override our immediate and animalistic desires (Look, something shiny! It just swam over the trench!) for the sake of long term well being.
Noticing an urge or desire for a certain food that does not fit in our protocol presents us with the opportunity to work on the skill of delay.
Consider this thought:
- I want that cookie but I’m choosing not to have it now
Does that feel better than:
- I want that cookie but I can’t because I’m on a diet.
Choosing to delay having the cookie (or the burrito when we aren’t hungry or the bowl of cereal at midnight–whatever it is!) instead of telling ourselves we aren’t allowed to eat it is actually quite powerful. Choosing to delay AND at the same time acknowledging that we would like to have it, frees up our brain from trying to convince us to eat it.
I hear you brain. And it’s going to be ok.
Sometimes our brains create a lot of scarcity around food. “I hardly ever come to this restaurant.” “My husband never brings home cupcakes.” “Just this once.” Our brains try to convince us that this is the last time we will see this food, for like, EVER!
But in reality, we could go to that restaurant tomorrow. It’s not going out of business. We can plan Mexican food for tomorrow’s dinner. We could easily put that cupcake on our food plan for tomorrow or this weekend. We could go buy another one if it’s stale by then.
There is actually no scarcity of food in this country. This is not the field of berries our caveman ancestors came upon. For them it was true–they may not come upon berries again for years! So they gorged immediately.
We do not have this problem. Donut shops and cookie shops and take out restaurants are plentiful.
If you really want a donut, you can put it on your food plan for tomorrow, and go buy a donut.
But the key is to PLAN it. Choose to delay and not give in to the immediate demands of the toddler part of your brain. Use your prefrontal cortex to plan what you are going to eat and stick with it.
Remind your brain it’s not an emergency. Delay is the privilege of being a human and developing the skill will ensure your long term well being.
Need help figuring out how to delay your urges and cravings? Book a free strategy session with me and we’ll work together on making a plan!
